I am 7 parts Ukrainian and 1 part Irish, this latest portion only being discovered 5 years ago. Though my family has been in Canada for over a century, I think of myself as “Ukrainian”, an influence both culturally and spiritually. I have known stability of place, Guelph being my 4 th home in my almost 60 years. As my siblings and I accompany our 90 year old mother towards her death, it has reinforced the notion that I remain attached to “my frame”, through both love and turmoil.

The constant “I” is represented most through my palette of choice. Various shades of green accompany my piece, with brighter, spring like greens representing my early years, deepening into cooler shades as I age. Yellow is my grief – I was born into this feeling state, and it has visited me in large and small ways throughout my life. White is for stability and goodness – the chosen colour for my warp as I acknowledge the stable family of origin and almost 40 year marriage I have been privileged with. Blue is Consolation – the felt and known presence of God throughout my life. Purple represents a cluster of many wonderful things – beauty, creativity, joy, love, pleasure. And finally black/white are for Desolation – the trauma experiences that have also shaped and influenced me.

It took me a month to weave my piece. At times, the flow was steady and easy. At other times, my chosen frame was awkward to work with and my body objected, slowing the process down. The flow of weaving, the use of colour and shape that felt deeply intuitive for my history and present sections of the piece. By far, the future was my slowest and most challenging section. It brought forward a current relationship grief -- as I gazed ahead and faced the possibility of life without this friend. It also brought forward a sense of play and ease, as I move towards my own retirement and continue to explore such life-giving elements as sport, and creativity, and faith and now, weaving.

I loved this process. I had moments of play and ease, moments of deep sorrow and grief, moments of “perfectionism”, moments of pure pleasure as I chose colours and played with shape and texture. I discovered some aspects of self that need attending, and aspects of self that were ready to burst forth, just waiting for an opportunity to do so.

My weaving was my praying, and my playing, and my processing. Deeply meaningful.